Sunday, December 9, 2012

Cipralex Day 32 and Weigh In

Last night I had a really hard time getting to sleep.  Still with the lump in my throat, though it did get better with hot tea.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a short period of dizziness.

Small amount of anxiety this morning when I woke up.

I'm noticing less intense jaw clenching.

When I got to church this morning, my whole body was exhausted.  My muscles ached and felt weak.  I forgot most of the stuff I was supposed to bring with me to church this morning and we were late.  I'm feeling like I'm in a bit of a sleepy fog lately.  I didn't enjoy church like I normally do.  Came away thinking I probably should send a Christmas card to my biological father since a big part of the message was about forgiveness.  Felt bad that we missed last week and my oldest son missed out on a wood working project.  My third son threw a temper tantrum all the way home, lost three privileges for today and refused to get out of the van when we got home.

I am clinging to the thought that I only have to take the kids to church alone for one more week.  I'm not feeling particularly strong - physically or mentally - lately, and taking all four kids anywhere in the van is the hardest parenting task of our family life right now.  I don't know why, but being in a small space like that brings out the worst in all of them.  And when you are trying to drive safely, it is hard to dodge thrown footwear or ignore the fact that one child is whipping another with a seatbelt or punching him in the face.  Last time hubby took the four of them to church alone, he was quite emotional when he got home, so I know this is not just me.

Setback on the weight gain.  I lost three pounds this week and am back to 95.  Bummer.

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