Sunday, January 6, 2013

2 months on Cipralex and Weigh In

It's been two months since I started taking 5 mg of Cipralex daily and I am thinking that things are stable, for the most part.  I still don't feel like my old self, but how can I when that was then and this is now?  Things have changed and then is not now, and after going though all this, how could I be the same person I was?

I still have bad days where one stressful thing gives me concerning chest pain or sets me short of breath.  This morning was a rough morning driving to church - the kids were violently fighting, hubby tried to make them stop and in the process, hurt himself, and I found my chest to be aching so much after that.  I knew that my breathing was off because I couldn't stop yawning.

I have still not had a complete break from chest pain - it is always there, and has become something that I just live with now.  Generally it is dull and more of an ache, and I have trained myself to not be anxious over it.  I still have a lump in my throat feeling a lot of the time and still really bad every night.  I did some internet research yesterday and found a couple of videos on youtube about Globus Hystericus and throat massage.  It was helpful last night, so I hope that as I incorporate throat massage into my daily schedule, I will have less trouble with Globus Hystericus.

My weigh in this morning was somewhat disappointing.  Not because of the numbers, but because I couldn't get what I would call an accurate measurement.  I have again not been eating enough.  I have learned that when I don't eat enough, I don't have a regular bowel movement.  With all of the IBS stuff I've been through, and now with this weight gaining challenge, I have come to see a regular bowel movement as a prize for my hard work.  It seems silly, but it is physical evidence that I am doing something right.  So, this morning, no bowel movement.  It's like I've been chastised for not eating correctly.  No bowel movement means that when I weighed in, I was not at my lightest like I normally am when I weigh in.  You know, all those 'controls' of the experiment.  Anyway, I weighed in at 101 pounds.  It is likely that I am really at 100 or even 99, which means no gain or a slight loss over the past week.  Bummer.

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