It's been two months since I started taking 5 mg of Cipralex daily and I am thinking that things are stable, for the most part. I still don't feel like my old self, but how can I when that was then and this is now? Things have changed and then is not now, and after going though all this, how could I be the same person I was?
I still have bad days where one stressful thing gives me concerning chest pain or sets me short of breath. This morning was a rough morning driving to church - the kids were violently fighting, hubby tried to make them stop and in the process, hurt himself, and I found my chest to be aching so much after that. I knew that my breathing was off because I couldn't stop yawning.
I have still not had a complete break from chest pain - it is always there, and has become something that I just live with now. Generally it is dull and more of an ache, and I have trained myself to not be anxious over it. I still have a lump in my throat feeling a lot of the time and still really bad every night. I did some internet research yesterday and found a couple of videos on youtube about Globus Hystericus and throat massage. It was helpful last night, so I hope that as I incorporate throat massage into my daily schedule, I will have less trouble with Globus Hystericus.
My weigh in this morning was somewhat disappointing. Not because of the numbers, but because I couldn't get what I would call an accurate measurement. I have again not been eating enough. I have learned that when I don't eat enough, I don't have a regular bowel movement. With all of the IBS stuff I've been through, and now with this weight gaining challenge, I have come to see a regular bowel movement as a prize for my hard work. It seems silly, but it is physical evidence that I am doing something right. So, this morning, no bowel movement. It's like I've been chastised for not eating correctly. No bowel movement means that when I weighed in, I was not at my lightest like I normally am when I weigh in. You know, all those 'controls' of the experiment. Anyway, I weighed in at 101 pounds. It is likely that I am really at 100 or even 99, which means no gain or a slight loss over the past week. Bummer.