Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Things I am learning on this journey

1.  I love to be busy.  I crave it.  It makes me happy and energizes me.
2.  Being busy causes me to miss things like meals, snacks, supplements, exercise, sleep and housework.
3.  Missing meals and snacktimes makes me weak, dizzy and nauseous.
4.  Missing supplements makes me gassy and low-energy.
5.  Missing exercise makes me achey.
6.  Missing sleep makes me impatient.
7.  Not doing housework makes me (and other members of my family) VERY grumpy.

So far I have had a pretty great week.  A busy week.  I've done projects for the kids' teachers and visited with friends and baked and played games with my daughter.  I've meal planned, answered emails, made hard phone calls, planned and started to prepare for a birthday party.  I've shopped, banked, dropped off and picked up and chatted.

I have felt phenomenal.

Until this afternoon.

I am beat.  So ridiculously tired.  Irritable.  Annoyed.  And feeling like people are annoyed with me.

My house is a mess.  I have a party happening here in two days.  I need to clean, clean, clean, but I just can't bring myself to clean in the afternoons.  If I don't start in the morning, then it doesn't get done.  I've been out every morning this week and one would be able to tell that just by stepping into my porch.

Dishes overflowing from the sink, clean dishes waiting in the dishwasher.  I just washed the same load of laundry for the third time because I've failed to move it from the washer to the dryer.  My bathroom garbage can is overflowing and there is probably some sort of hair on every surface in there.  I have been sweeping my floor, but only small sections at a time, and the dining room floor never stays clean for longer than 5 minutes.  I don't even know when the last time I washed the floor is.  I cut a bunch of fabric for one of my kids' teachers this week and now my carpet is covered in little red threads and really needs to be vacuumed.

My son wants the basement filled with balloons for his party, but do you think he (or any of the others) will clean the toys up in the basement so I can vacuum and blow up balloons for down there?  Nope, nope nope.  They are all sitting here watching TV as I type.  And the reality is...I don't have the energy do force them to do anything.  I hate the yelling and tempers that fly with anyone other than me doing the cleaning.  So our house gets like this, tensions build, but no one does anything about it until I get some sort of motivation or energy burst to do it myself.  I really need to find that energy tonight.  Maybe it's in a can of Coke.

Where is my husband, you are asking?  Well, he is working out in the mornings.  And then working at job #2, then coming home to eat lunch and put in 8 hours at job #1.  He usually leaves the house at 6:00 am and does some sort of work until at least 10:00 pm.  Tax season is underway, and I am clearly still adjusting to the new normal again.

Onward and upward!

And some awesome words I heard in a song on the radio recently:

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.  

Oh, so many times, I'm sure. This song is beautiful, please take a listen.

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