Update and Weigh In

I haven't been here in awhile, and I guess there hasn't been a lot to report.

I've had some mild anxiety that I've tried to not really pay attention to - throat lumps, shortness of breath, pounding heart.

My dreams lately have been very family-centered.  I had one a few nights ago that had my grandma (who died in 2008), my grandpa, my parents, my brother, my husband and I and our kids all under one roof, and since then, every dream has had my family in it.  I am realizing that my original core family isn't here.  We aren't close enough, and it's a funny realization because we haven't been all together (on a regular basis) for years.  My mom, my brother and I, though, we were a team for so many years, just the three of us, getting through stuff together.  I miss us.  And the plans now are that I will spend 6 weeks total at my parents' home this year.  I am hopeful that they and my brother will spend time at my home too.

I have been experiencing some IBS symptoms coming back, and I know it's because I am falling away from what I have established to be good for me.  LOL  I really need to be more diligent in taking care of myself (again), but the better I feel, the less I try to stay on track.  It's getting easier to keep up with the supplements because I have been feeding them to my husband for the past few days too.

I am on track, however, with adding socializing back into my life!  In the past two weeks, I have been out of the house or had friends over most days, and I made up tea dates that I had to break all the way back in November due to anxiety.  I have missed my friends so much!  Last Saturday I took one boy to a birthday party at a mall and then hung out around the mall for 1.5 hours with the other three kids until he was done.  I didn't panic.  I didn't get frustrated or angry or exhausted.  Yay!

I've been feeling very blah about cooking lately.  I don't want to cook, and when I do, I don't want to eat it.  It looks yucky, tastes yucky.  I'm trying, but food = yuck.

Probably not surprising that I am not really gaining so quickly anymore and am at 108.5 lbs.

I think that's about it.  I've been trying to write this post for over an hour now, and keep getting distracted by kids and the TV, and now it is bedtime for the four littles.  So I will end it and if I remember what I planned to write in here, I will come back then.  :)


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