Thursday, September 5, 2013

Anxiety Conversations with Eli

Up until this point, I have not named my anxious child.  I have decided to call him Eli for the purposes of this blog.  It is much easier to type a name than to continually try to find a grammatically correct way to indicate who I am talking about.

Here is a conversation we had today when I was sitting in his classroom this morning.

Eli:  So, are you going to the gym after this?

Me:  Yes.  I feel so much better when I exercise; not so tense and frustrated with you guys when you fight.  I bet you feel less anxious when you get lots of exercise too, right?

Eli:  Yeah, it makes my tummy hurt, but then it goes away.

We have had so many conversations about anxiety.  I know how it makes him feel, because he tells me flat-out.  No sugar-coating it from him.  The most memorable statements he has made more than once through this journey include, "I wish I was never born,"  "I wish I was dead," and "Why can't I just be normal?"

These statements scare me a little as we inch closer to the teenage years.  They scare me a lot.

Please, God, help us find some way to get past this before the teenage years hit. 

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