Two months

It has been two months and just over a week since I gave up Cipralex. 

For the most part, I am happy with my decision.  Without changing my eating or exercising habits, I have lost almost seven pounds.  I feel better.  The tired fog is wearing off, and the brain zaps are minimal.  I had a faint one yesterday but don't remember the last one before that. I will be getting my cholesterol rechecked soon and I am hoping to see it back to healthy levels.  I read a bit online about a gentleman who was warning people that Cipralex caused his mom a heart attack, and with my mom's recent heart attack, my eyes have been wide open to look for correlations between heart attack risk factors and my time on the drug.

All that said, I must say that I do rethink my decision daily.  My chest always aches.  I've had two full-blown nighttime panic attacks that I could not get myself out of.  My weepiness has returned and most of the time I struggle to get out a sentence without tearing up.  It frustrates me because I'm not actually sad or emotional when the tears choose to just show up, and I am currently researching natural alternatives for mood support.  

I feel like now that my body is physically strong and substantial, I really just need a little something to support my serotonin a bit, and just like the rest of this journey, it's up to me to figure out what that something is.

All in all, I'm doing great.  It hasn't been the easiest time of my life the last couple of months - financial stress, job changes for hubby, preteen struggles with my oldest, a messy end to a long-time friendship, and the choice to return to school myself and to begin my studies immediately - but I've made it through without drug support, and, for the most part, panic attack-free.  

I know I've come a long way and I am proud!