Saturday, January 9, 2016

Failing

I'm failing.  

I'm failing to be a kind and loving and patient mom, I'm failing at being an attentive wife and friend; I'm failing in all areas.  

Running so far behind on every task list.  

Drowning and exhausted.

Pressed on all sides.

Coming to the realization that one's best effort is not meeting - and will not meet - expectations is hard for a perfectionist.  It's heartbreaking for me; so heavy on my shoulders.  Being stuck here, not seeing a way to fix things, is torture.  

This is where I pray fervently - where I lay in my bed and beg God for strength and for peace - because it's the only thing I can gather enough energy to do while I wait for the torturous thoughts to pass.

1 comment:

  1. You are not failing. You are being the best you can be at this moment. We are our worst critics. Take time for the moment. Your are l9ving and caring but not a super human being. You need time to rest and eeflect on the good things. Hugs and love

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