up and down

Well, last night I was searching the net for free counselling services because I was just so depressed. 

Today I was feeling the sick pre-panic attack anxiety that I used to feel. 

And right now I am feeling okay, despite my gas, aching muscles and sleepiness.

I rested tonight, on my bed with my dog, while my superstar husband drove everyone all over the city.  I felt horrible about leaving him to do all the work until he assured me that this stuff isn't stressing him out at all.  I can't even imagine how I'd do half of it in the state I am in.

I watched some favourite old movies.  I applied for some jobs, and stopped when I felt panic rising. I researched cipralex for depression and searched for information on 5-htp and am going to start taking it to see if it will help me.

My kids came home and cuddled in bed with me for a movie, and my teen came home almost glowing over the fact that he got to fundraise for his band trip as a cashier tonight. He chatted with acquaintances who I assume became friends.  And he made $7 in tips, which is more than I've ever made in a fundraising shift.  His mood has boosted my spirits.

People joined my songs on my Sing app.

I am going to take a 5-htp capsule and listen to hypnosis as I fall asleep tonight.

And I just heard my daughter say, "Good job, Daddy." So heartwarming.  ❤️❤️